21st i feel overlooked and unheard. i want reassurance, comfort, conversation but must be self-reliant. the bus terminal drones on. 22nd i think my friends genuinely dont want me around, so many times are our hangouts cancelled or postponed. im too embarrassed to ask again, isolation is easier. 30th my boyfriend wants to do drugs, im not comfortable with that since my ex and i had bad experiences and i worry for his health. he says "its not a big deal bro" then tells me to stop and go "back to how you were before" (my cheery self). we have had this conversation so many times, and ive made clear my views. sometimes i want to counter by saying i want to go back to blades and bleeding.
